You might be thinking, 'Ok, just who is this woman behind the curtain? Who is the Dating Counselor?'. Well hi - its me! I'm Loni Harmon. While it might seem a little like Oz behind the great and powerful curtain, I'm actually a real live person and someone who would love to be your source and guide in dating. So if you've ever wanted to know a little more about me, here's a look into me, Loni, and the story behind
The Dating Counselor.
Because you don't know, what you don't know.
Why everyone should have a dating coach
A Love Letter from Loni
So - why a dating coach? Let me give you a quick scenario.
Let's say you love to cook and you're pretty decent at it. For years, you've been frying your eggs in a certain way - cooking them most of the way on one side, then flipping it over to the other. Technically its a fried egg, and it worked just fine.
But then you were cooking with a friend thats a chef. And they tell you that if you pour some water in the pan and cover the egg, you won't need to flip the egg to cook both sides. And there, in your 5 minute conversation, your egg cooking routine is improved - maybe even revolutionized.
There was nothing wrong with how you were frying your egg. In fact, it was fine! But was there a better way? Absolutely.
Recently, there was a girl that was talking about her dating struggles and a friend of mine suggested to her to try a dating coach, to which she said, "Oh, I don't need a dating coach - that's only for people who are really desperate."
Sure - there are people who are really 'desperate' in dating, but what if we shifted that definition of desperate from being one of pathetic and hopeless to one that is so motivated to make change that they're empowered to try anything - one who would seek a dating coach.
Dating in the modern world changes constantly and is difficult to navigate. It requires knowledge of apps, boundaries, self awareness, male/female psychology, relationship building, hallmarks of good intentions, knowledge of events, mindset skills, communication skills, and so much more. Read all of that and tell me you don't cringe a little at the aspect of having to already know all of these on your own. That's why there are experts.
If all it took to be better at dating was asking your married friend for advice, listening your parents, or looking up the best flirty texts to send on Instagram, then a lot of people would go from single to married pretty quickly.
Sure, you still might feel pretty dumb looking at a dating coach. Like you're Albert Brenneman in Hitch and you have no dating game. But you do have dating game - you just need better strategies.
Lawyers, doctors, photographers, plumbers, chefs, coaches, therapists, teachers, editors, agents, pilots, etc. - all have careers built around being an expert in strategies and success in their fields. They have insights, knowledge, and game plans to help navigate and bring success. Because you don't know what you don't know.
I've spent 20+ years honing in on dating and relationships to become Utah's Dating Expert. I have labored and survived the Utah dating scene myself, and I have helped plenty of people do the same. I don't think you're bad at dating - I think you're actually a really awesome person and you are totally dateable. I'd love to help you succeed in life and in dating and find your person.
Are you stuck in your dating life?
That was me too.
I spent years of my young adult life dating and just not finding the right fit. My friends all got married. My younger siblings did. I had a successful and thriving life, but dating just wasn't panning out how I thought it would have. At one point, I was single and living in Utah getting asked questions like, “Why aren’t you married? Is something wrong with you?” Was there something wrong with me?
When dating didn’t turn into marriage, I had to ask myself if I was missing something that other people intuitively knew. I wasn’t sure. After all, I was being asked on dates and had relationships, but I felt constantly crippled with the worry of making the wrong decision, a inability to set boundaries, and the fear of marrying the wrong person.
What I discovered was that the modern world in dating was different than my outdated strategy in dating and the new aspects of the modern world didn’t help soothe my anxious brain. So I went to work and began to dive deep into the world of attachment, psychology, relationship building, flirting, and so much more.
In the end, I was blessed to find my person and we have built a beautiful life together.
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have spent years in the Utah dating scene, both personally, and as a coach and therapist. I have spent my energy and time learning every thing there is to know about dating, how to find your person, and how to build and maintain a healthy relationship. Everything I teach I have personally experienced and tested myself. I truly believe my methods, when applied and used, will not only help you find your person, but transform the type of love you give and receive. It's been my mission and passion to help people find the same happy I found with my husband Mark and beat the Utah dating scene. So join me and let's start dating!